Love & Trust
By Constance Bostaph, Rainbow House Mom
At Church this past Sunday the pastor shared a paragraph of verses that pretty much every Christian knows and even some of those who do not claim Christ, know as well. 1 Corinthians 13 states all the things we should follow on the verb, love. I, personally, love it and read it from time to time just to re-evaluate my heart in my daily life tasks and happenings. But this Sunday the one that stuck out more than the rest was the small part that says, “Love always Trusts.”
To say love ALWAYS trusts makes us question if we really have this whole loving thing down. I look at just the small amount of time I’ve been a houseparent to presently 10 teenage girls and a mother to my own daughter and it’s easy to doubt myself.
But doubting God? How much more often do I do that? How many times do I look at a child in front of me and doubt what God can and more importantly will do with them? I examine my experiences and the experiences of others. I study statistics. I train myself to deal with trauma ridden minds and fear filled hearts. I have the formula and I have the knowledge. All of these are good. But I am still asking this question: do I have the trust? Do I trust God with the lives that I am in contact with every day? Do I pray for them with hope? I would like to say so, but it is a battle. I think we can all get caught up in the individual stories and look at the ones that walk away and repeat their parent’s mistakes. It’s easy to round off all of the losses, the so seemingly failures and lump them all into a big question mark. Why should we keep pouring out when their vessels have holes? Why should we keep giving when they keep throwing away what we give? Why do we spend the last bit of emotional and physical strength we have to stay up with this child into the wee hours of the morning while they weep just to have them return to their hardened shells and throw us under the bus the next day?
I asked God a few months back some questions similar to these about one of the girls I’ve been living with as her houseparent. I was frustrated because I wasn’t seeing Him move the way I wanted Him to in her life. His response to my doubt-filled questions was simple:
“Why did I send my Son to die on the cross? Was it because I knew everyone would come running to me and do what I want them to? Did I just simply think all the bad things would stop happening and everything would be perfect? No, I want you to want Me. And I will always leave that up to humanity. Salvation is not something to be forced. It is an option. The most gracious and priceless option. But nonetheless, it is just that, an option. I didn’t give the gift of my son’s sin shattering death and life – giving resurrection to just the people who want it. I gave it to anyone and everyone. Even more so for the ones who struggle harder and may take years, even a lifetime, to see it and choose Me. You just happened to choose Me at this time in your life. But it’s not up to you what they do on their timeline. The only thing you can do for them is trust and obey through love and prayer.”
Love Always Trusts. I will choose to trust God in love, with them. They may reject help and prayers up until their last breath, but as long as I am trusting God with them; As long as I am praying in a posture of trust, maybe, even at that last breath, they will accept Him and be made whole. If I can trust God through the long nights, bitter tear filled days, and even the sad farewells, then I will have at least loved as He does. Because God loves me and if He didn’t then His patience would’ve ran up a long time ago. Just as He gives us a lifetime to choose Him so He gives us the choice to trust Him everyday after we’ve accepted Him. To choose to trust Him with our lives and the lives of those around us.
To Trust Him even when circumstances, situations and even final outcomes pressure us to doubt His sovereignty.
Bilquis Sheikh was once a rich and highly esteemed royal in Northern India. Her life took a turn when God started speaking to her in dreams, and she turned from Islam to Jesus Christ. Because of her new – found faith, she experienced threats, an attack and had to leave her home and country. While she was still being rejected by her family members she responded to them in hope and trust. She shared Christ in love with them and she didn’t stop praying for them. At one time in weakness she questioned God and why she should keep talking and sharing with them when it seemed that all that came from it was distress and division. I will leave you with His simple response to her that has directed most of my heart and actions in my life ~
“Is My presence with you? That is all you need. Its so often this way with friends and family. The results are not your problem. All you have to worry about is obedience. Seek My presence, not results.”
Check out Constance’s blog at https://thebenevolentduo.wordpress.com